Wednesday Confessions

Confession #1:  When it comes down to it, I'm a lazy person.

I love laying in bed and watching Netflix.  I love to be super slammed kinda busy occasionally, but I just like to take life slow.  When working, I go out of my way to make sure I am not perceived as a lazy person.  I work the hardest so no one can call me what I really am.  This isn't self-deprecating, just true.  When I was unemployed in that other midwestern city, I had no money to go anywhere or do anything.  No working car.  So I stayed home.  For a month.  If I was hungry, Taco Bell was just around the block as was a drug store that had a large food section.  I'd load up with some good stuff -- salad stuff, but also ice cream.  Lots and lots of ice cream.  What else was I going to do all day but eat, watch NCIS on Netflix, and hope that an employer would call me back?  Lord only knows how much weight I put on during that time!

Confession #2:  I need balance in my nutrition.

I'm not "cured" of my old habits, but am improving.  I made these for lunch this week:

Spring rolls with yummy saucess

Roasted Veggies

Yes, the same thing for lunch, every day this week.  Good in theory, bad in practice.  Even on Tuesday I did not want what I had!  I ate lunch, had yogurt in the afternoon, then order pizza for dinner.  Same thing with today.  Super healthy lunch, yogurt and fruit for a snack, leftover pizza for dinner.  I REALLY need to get an appointment with the nutritionist, and possibly a therapist, geez!

Confession #3:  I am not happy school is out for the summer around here.  Yesterday, someone caught the apartment dumpster on fire.  This morning, I go out to my car and I see this:

Oh yes, vandals took my nobs to my radio!!!  It still works, but I was pissed!  My '89 doesn't lock (actually, it does lock, I just can't get it open after it locks!), so they just let themselves in.  You cant access the gas tank or the trunk without the key in the ignition, so they didn't take anything else.  Car seat was left in there, headphones, registration and insurance papers.  All there in their same places.  And this is a neighborhood where people leave bikes outside, strollers, grills, etc. Ugh.

Today I topped 1000 workout minutes for the month!!! Hot dog! :) hehe

That Devil on My Shoulder

I had 5 days off of working out about 2 weeks ago.  It felt necessary because I was so exhausted and eventually sick.  When I got back in the pool last Wednesday, I was ready to kick some butt.  As you see, I am often a big fish in a little pond when it comes to the skill level and speed of lap swimmers at the YMCA.  So when I saw the people in the pool I thought, pshht, piece of cake.  I'll show these people what lap swimming really is.  (Please note: Yes, my inner ego is really this high.  Quite a fault, but I'll take that over bashing myself any day.)

So I get in, do my warm up, switch lanes because water aerobics was starting, do a small set.  Then on to the main show:
10 x 50 yards
2 on :60
2 on :55
2 on :50
2 on :55
2 on :60

Looks like cake walk, doesn't it?  In the first 50 or two, I notice a guy in the lane next to me.  He is lap-ing me.  WHILE PULLING.  Yeah, only using his arms to propel himself through the water. If I had any thought of being "fast", it flew right out the window! I have generally being making 50s on :52-53.  So this was work for me!  And that is where my self-esteemed dropped to the bottom of the pool like an anchor.  I was trying my hardest and this guy was still lapping me (I'm assuming he is in college, and a collegiate swimmer).  I was barely making :55 seconds for the 50s, my swim shorts were falling down, my goggles were fogging up.  I was trying so hard, but I could not propel myself through the freaking water as fast as I needed to. All of a sudden, I was fat, I was slow, I was a terrible swimmer.  I should give up on weight loss and being healthy, and just go eat a mountain of food and sit on my butt because swimming all these laps and not making the right times was going to get me no where.  Instead of doing 10 x 50 yards, I ended up doing at least a 200 without stopping.

Looking rough after a hard swim.  Sometimes it is a battle!

Finally, finally, the torture was over.  I snapped back to reality.  Who the heck was this person who was swimming those terrible 50s?  Was that really me thinking those thoughts?  Anyone who knows me will describe me as a positive person...and that was a side of myself that I rarely see.  Things weren't sunshine and daisies, I was still annoyed (with myself?  with the fast guy swimmer? idk!).  So annoyed that I had a 50 butterfly on deck.  I was so immersed in my thoughts that I didn't realize I did a whole 50 and didn't die of exhaustion.  That's huge for me!  It is such a mental game.  Butterfly is the hardest stroke and yes, it does cause pain because it is that hard.  Reminded me of the first time I ran.  I was on top of the world!

Geez, sounds like a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde swim workout over here.

And yesterday, I had 4 x 50 butterfly to do.   I tried to talk myself out of it, but I wouldn't let myself back down from the challenge.  I survived!  Yes, there were some breathes in which I got a mouthful of water instead of air, but I just kept plugging along.  200 yards of butterfly -- hey!  I used to race that.  haha and yes, that was a painful swim back then too.



It appears I'm approaching the 1000 minute mark for May workouts.  VERY happy about that.  If I workout tomorrow (and I'm assuming no working out on Thursday because I'm babysitting), that will be 20 out of 31 days working out in May.  SUPER excited about that!  It is hard to believe I went years at a time without swimming and without exercising.  I'm having a lot of fun!

And one last note for tonight.  I found a running buddy.  Here she is:

SwimTot!

There were 5-7 extra (mostly drunk) people in our apt over the weekend.  That's not really my thing, so I took SwimTot on some trails.  And she wanted to run.  And she whooped me.  That kid is fast.  Now, it is easier to carry her 40lbs across land than it is my 270, but when she got tired, I caught up to her and told her to keep going (This is your soccer conditioning!) and she did!

Wait -- What's that?  I weigh 270 now??? haha yep, lost another like 1.8 since the last time I weighed in.  Pretty awesome.  Bout to get another pair of unmentionables out of my grab bag for another 5 lbs lost!

10 Things Thursday

1.  Walked a treadmill mile, lifted over 20,660 pounds in my circuit, and walked/ran an outdoor mile today.  I will be sore tomorrow.   That last mile was definitely 19 mins!  It was slow but steady.

2.  Had plans for dinner on Tuesday.  During the day I picked out what I was going to get from their online menu.  An hour before dinner, I got a text that the plans had changed and we were going the Cheescakee Factory.  I promptly threw my plan out and tried to grasp for a new one.

3.  My new fave piece of advise while eating out is to get an appetizer as an entree. I had a piece of bread while we ordered, about 1/3 of one of the 3 little loaves they give you.  I got a "cup" of soup, which in cheeesecake factory terms is a bowl.  It was too salty, I dripped way too much on my shirt, but I ate it all.  I got the Vietnamese Spring Rolls.  There were 3, I had 1.  It came w/2 sauces.  1 peanut sauce and one random other sauce. 

4.  I've had 0 caffeine this week and I feel great.  Initially it was because I was loading up on tea instead of coffee to kick this cold, but I like how no caffeine makes me feel, I'll probably stick with it.  Plus, I can drink this echineacea tea without sweetener, love that!

5.  I'm doing a 5K in less than a month!!!  I want to run as much as I can, but I am so scared because I cannot run a lone mile yet!  I know it isn't necessary to be able to, but I look forward to the day when that can happen!

6.  I haven't weighed myself this week, but last week I was at 272.2.  Hoping to see another drop this week.

7.  My temp job keeps hassling me about taking the job full time.  The pay would be great (like almost $5/hr more than I am making now!), but I am afraid I will do that sucky job for the rest of my life. 

8.  Duh I had cheescake!!!  I got a coffee flavored one.  I brought the leftover cheesecake pieces home (mine and my friends).  They mostly got eaten by the other people in this household.  I had the last of one last night and the last of the other one tonight.  Yummmmmm.

9.  I need new swimsuits in a terrible way.  Both recreation and workout.  The holes in my orange suit have expanded!  Sounds like some $$$ to me, good thing I have my real women dollars, or whatever they are callled, from LB.

Oh geez.

10.  I think I had a foodgasm this week.  No, it wasn't from cheesecake.  I had my leftover spring rolls and a sweet potato for lunch at work on Wednesday.  I mixed the left over peanut sauce and other sauce together = genius.  Mixing it in with a plain sweet potato = foodgasm.  I would eat it every meal if I could!

A winning combination!

10.5 And in case you were wondering.  I don't really like car decals, but this is one that describes my family well!

How Ass-Tastic!

Still here, still crazy.

       As usual, my life has been crazy and boring all at the same time.  After 2 weeks off working out in April, I was soaring through May with as many workouts as I could fit in.  I was swimming, running, strength training, recumbent biking, and even something new – rowing machines!  I was tired.  Okay, I was EXHAUSTED.  I wasn’t getting enough sleep, but I was trying.  My workouts made me feel good, so feeling tired was an okay thing to happen. 

       Then, one day I tracked my calories.   It wasn’t a good day because I had to eat my snacks for breakfast (woke up late, almost late for work = no time to grab something healthyish at Starbucks).  I only had 620 calories before 6pm.  D-U-H.  No wonder I was exhausted!  SparkPeople told me that I need 1800-2100 cals a day right now.  I felt terrible, exhausted, and cranky, but I had an appointment at the Y (which ended up being less than ideal).  I felt great after the Y, but in the ended up with about 1250 cals, still not the “fuel” that I need.  I really need to see a nutritionist! 

    Last Thursday I babysat and had no time for the gym.  Friday rolled around.  I knew after Saturday afternoon, there wouldn’t be another chance to workout this weekend.  On Friday, some $#@! Hit the fan at work and my emotions made me want to crawl in a hole and sleep till my problems were over (my fave method of ignoring my feelings is def sleep!).  Friday I came home and decided to take a nap and I could run outside when I woke up.  Well it was dark when I woke up (and I didn’t feel anymore caught up on sleep L) .  Saturday I slept in, and when I decided to go for a run, it was already 77 degrees.  Sick! So no workout then.  From being so inside/air-conditioning to outside/heat&humidity, I got a cold, or at least the cold that I was getting was more pronounced due to these circumstances.   I also ate lots of sugary stuff and felt physically terrible because of it!  Monday, I was still too sick to workout.  Although I did have a great dance when I found the “multi-symptom relief, night time” medicine.  Okay, it was a song AND dance that SwimTot had me repeat because she found it so amusing.  Yesterday I had dinner w/friends.  But today, today I will swim!!!  I’ve already had my bag packed since last Thursday, so I will pick up SwimTot, put her in childcare, swim my workout I printed out last week, and then retrieve her from childcare to go splash around some more.

     Last week I had some of the hardest workouts thus far.  No joke.  Felt super nauseous while swimming.  I like challenging workouts like that.  I just need to find that balance!  But you can be sure I'll post on how I do!

The Situations In Which We Eat Too Much

I found this on Spark People the other day.  Very interesting in comparison to my own life.  Here are 10 situations that they say cause you to eat when you're not hungry.  

 {found it here}

Take a look at these 10 situations that encourage you to eat when you're not hungry, plus tips to cope in a healthier way.

To Cope
Emotions are a common eating trigger. Happy? You might eat a treat to celebrate. Sad? You might eat to soothe yourself with comfort food. Angry? You might take it out with a fork instead of the person who really caused it. But if you turn to food for emotional reasons, you won't resolve the underlying issues. It may help to track your eating habits in a journal, noting your emotional state when you headed for that snack. Writing it down may help you make a connection you hadn't seen before, like the fact that you eat when you're lonely or angry. Then you'll know for the future to look for a different outlet, such as calling a friend when you're lonely or turning to that punching bag when you're mad or stressed. If emotional eating is a known problem for you, check out SparkPeople's 10-step guide to overcoming emotional eating.

Out of Boredom
Sometimes you're not emotional—you're just bored. For many people, eating seems like a good solution when there's nothing better to do; whether you graze at home on the weekends or entertain yourself with lavish dinners out. But eating can only last for so long—and then you have an afternoon to fill! If you know boredom is a trigger for your emotional eating, have a list of strategies in place to keep yourself busy and entertained when you don't have anything else to do. Catch up with an old friend, write an old-fashioned snail-mail letter, write in your journal or blog, volunteer in your community, take up a new hobby or read a book you've always wanted to read. Better yet, make your boredom-buster an active endeavor, such as trying a new class at the gym, playing an active video game, going for a walk with the dog or flying a kite. Eating won't sound as appealing if you have a fun alternative to occupy your mind and your body!

Because Other People Are Eating
When you're out enjoying a dinner with family or friends, it can be easy to eat when you're past the point of fullness—especially if you're enamored in conversation and not paying attention to your satiation level. Perhaps more common, it's easy to indulge when others around you are eating, too. It makes you feel like you fit in, and that it's OK since everyone else is doing it. Research shows that our habits mimic our companions' actions in situations like these. You don't have to swear off happy hour with friends to watch your weight though. When your dining companions devour a second basket of bread or chips, or order dessert, don't automatically follow suit. Check in with your hunger level to see if you really need it or if you'll be more satisfied with the fun conversation. If you have trouble stopping yourself from reaching for more, use some of these dining out tactics to stay in control.

Because Food is There
Have a candy jar at the office that calls your name? Do you feel powerless to pass up food at a party, even if you've already eaten? When food is in plain sight, it can be so easy to grab a handful simply because it's there. It looks good. You like it. It's right in front of you. What's the harm? Any food that is nearby, visible and easily accessible is hard for anyone to turn down. If you're unable to nix the trigger food altogether, move the treats out of sight—you'll be less likely to grab a handful. So if you buy a bag of Oreos, put them on a high shelf in a cabinet—not on the counter. Instead of a clear candy jar, try an opaque one or move it to another location. (Alternatively, stock the candy jar with a healthier, more filling treat—like nuts or trail mix.) When you're already full and food is out at a party, stand with your back to the table or in another room. The flipside of this works, too. When you keep lots of other healthy foods in sight, like a bowl of fruit on the table, you're more likely to eat them.

Because It's a Special Occasion
If you work in a big office or have a big family, it can seem like every day is someone's birthday, anniversary, or shower. And if those celebrations often involve cake or alcohol, it might seem that every party is a calorie-laden minefield. If you don't want to have a piece of cake every day, don't automatically get in the cake line when it's your bosses' birthday—you can always show your face at the celebration without taking part in the punch bowl. Remember: Celebrations are about the people, not the food. If you do best without temptation, skip the gathering altogether or bring your own low-cal treat. Here's another tactic: New research shows that just imagining yourself eating a treat can decrease your desire to eat the real thing. Passing up cake or celebratory food on occasion just got easier!

Because You're Tired
The dreaded afternoon energy lull can drive even the most disciplined of us to food—especially sugary treats. But that sugar rush might be followed by an even worse crash. Instead, take a walk around the office, head outside for some rejuvenating natural light, or drink a cup of coffee or a tall glass of cold water. A change of scenery might be just the ticket to battle the afternoon lull.

Because the Clock Says So
Do you pull out your lunchbox when the clock strikes noon, just because it's time for lunch? Or head to the kitchen at 6 p.m. just because that's your typical dinnertime? Don't just eat when the clock tells you to! When mealtime hits, use it as a cue to check in with your current hunger level. Are you actually hungry? If so, whip up that healthy meal. If not, wait until your body tells you to eat, and ignore the clock.

Because It's Free (Or Cheap)
Everyone loves to get a good deal. But don't eat up just because something is free (think free samples at the grocery store) or super cheap (buy-one-get-one-free sodas or all-you-can-eat buffets). Always check in with your body's hunger level before you automatically fill your plate with a freebie.

Because You Can't Say No to Food Pushers
If you're a people pleaser, it can be hard to say no, especially when friends or family offer you scrumptious food. And sometimes people who push food don't take no for an answer. Have excuses lined up in your bag of tricks—and be honest. "I'm not hungry" works well, as does "I'm trying to lose weight." If you end up with a piece of cake (or a whole cake to take home!) despite your protests, remember that you're in control (it's rare that people will try to force feed you). You can always set the fork down or share the cake with neighbors or co-workers, or simply eat just a small portion.

Because You Suffer from Clean Plate Syndrome
Most of us have grew up hearing, "There are starving kids who would love to eat that" to get us to clean our plates as kids. And for many of us, the well-meaning notion to prevent kids from wasting food and encourage them to eat their broccoli has stayed with us into adulthood. Do you still feel obligated to clean your plate, even when you're not hungry enough to comfortably finish it all—especially at a restaurant where you're paying a premium for a meal? Fortunately, most of us live with modern amenities like refrigerators and microwaves that make stowing away almost any meal for another time easy. (See, no waste necessary!) To prevent overeating, take stock throughout your meal to gauge how hungry you are; you might find that you don't need those last few bites after all. If that doesn't work, use smaller plates at home to eat less! And lastly, get over your fear of leftovers. I've met countless people who say they simply don't eat them. Why not? Many foods taste better the next day or two, and most things can be refrigerated and eaten without sacrificing flavor or texture.


If you eat for reasons other than being hungry, check in with yourself. Knowing what true hunger feels like can help you recognize when you're eating for other reasons. If you can't avoid the specific triggers that cause you to eat when you're not hungry—and there's no way to avoid them all—knowing these strategies will help! 







Personally, I can tell you that the #1 reason I eat is because I think I deserve it.  It's a reward for me.  Gold star?  No!  I want the Golden Arches!   Today, for example, I went straight from work to babysit.  SwimTot came over to play too.  I had not eaten dinner, but the kids had so I got to thinking.  I was at work for 9 hours, now I'm here for 4.5, this is so hard working, so commendable, treat yourself!  (Can you tell I have no children of my own?  I don't know how you mothers do it!)  It all started with 1 mini donut.  I only ate 1 mini donut total, but I also had pistachios, almonds, a couple oreos, honey roasted nuts, and a single serving bag of ruffles -- In addition to my "dinner"!  Yes I felt like crap afterward!  I made sure to make a smoothie loaded with good things so that I would be full and not need to go back to the kitchen.  Usually after the boy is asleep, I will sneak back in the kitchen a time or two for some snacks.  That didn't even cross my mind tonight, but really after that smorgasboard of craziness I'm very glad it didn't.


The others that are big for me are convenience and boredom and they go hand in hand!  Like when I bought that 90% Easter candy, I downed a whole box while watching Bones.  Just hand to mouth and not even realizing what I was doing, and certainly not enjoying this cheap candy!  I suppose that also factors in the cheap/free food.  Total sucker for that!


I don't stress eat because I try to keep my emotions to a minimum.  It is more common for me to sleep, that way I cannot think about a problem at all.  And if something is bad enough to keep me up -- I clean.   


Anyone have a certain one of these that sticks out at you?  Is there something that's not on the list that is a problem area for you?

My Mom - Her life and battle with weight

I wanted to write this post yesterday, but I was caught in a lack of motivation due to a merry-go-round that consisted of being in the bathroom due to possible food poisoning (we’re never going to that place again!), feeling fine and eating a little something, then feeling terrible and running back to the bathroom.  All while being distracted by at least 10 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. 

My grandma has said that my mom was never a small child/young adult.  She met my dad as teenagers.  She was a cashier at a grocery store and he was a bag boy.  They married right out of high school.  I am not certain, but I believe her wedding dress to be a size 8 or 10.  They tried to get pregnant and did get pregnant several times; however, they all ended in miscarriage.  I imagine as the grief grew, so did her weight.  12 years after they married, and only 7 months into her pregnancy, a little 3lbs, 6oz baby girl came into the world.  (That would be me) Within 3 years, there were 2 more babies!  (Although these would be 9 and 10 pound babies – SwimSis and my brother) Life was stressful with 3 kids ages 3 and under.  She never said anything, never complained, always put everyone else first.  But she knew she wanted to change, to be thinner.  

Myself, my madre, my tia

Here is when the diets started!  I am pretty sure she tried everything in the book.  Smoothies, soups, restricting this, counting that, etc.  When I was in elementary school, she started Jenny Craig.  My sister and I would go with her to her appointments and do our homework in the waiting area, listen to the pop-y 90s music on the radio, and drink their fancy water.  On weekday nights, we would go walking with her (or biking, or we would play at a nearby playground).  When we started on the swim team, she would walk around the school while us kids were at practice.  She was around sizes 4 I think.  When I was  a 5^th grader, she was smaller than I was!  

Oh 80s.  Those glasses are rockin'!

Then, she started getting sick.  Really sick.  My parents never told us directly what was wrong with her (unless I forgot, and I don’t think I would have).  Instead of going on walks/bike rides, we were staying inside watching TV, with the curtains shut so as to not give her migraines.  Spending time with mom consisted of getting her another cool wash cloth for her forehead or emptying her puke bucket.  And trips to Jenny Craig were replaced by trips to the doctor’s office for chemo treatments.  Near the end of her sickness, I found a pamphlet on my parent’s dresser – Ovarian Cancer.  The sickness now had a name.   Through it all, she remained a pillar of strength.

Soon, but not too soon, the cancer was gone.  She was no longer sick, but she was no longer the person she was before cancer.  Some weight had crept back on her, she did not resume her walks or Jenny Craig.  Bad food found its way back yet again.  About a year later – just after their 25^th wedding anniversary, my parents found out they were pregnant again.  It had been 10 years since their last baby!  Not a mistake, but a surprise.  And in the light of recent events – even a miracle!  Nearly 7 months later (at 44 years old nonetheless!), another 3 lb baby girl born premature (Yes, that would be TeenSwimSis) Now with 1 teenager, 2 pre-teens and one preemie in the N.I.C.U., things were stressful.  We ate out a lot, finances got tighter, but we still got that package of cookies – even if they were from Aldi!  

She's on the right.  Wow, that hair has some height!  One of the lower weights.

Over the next couple of years, her weight fluctuated often, lower in good times, higher in stressful times like a house fire when I was in 10^th grade.  We were staying at my grandma’s, then at a hotel, then at a rental house, at the hotel again, and eventually back at our house after it was repaired.  Once myself and SwimSis were in college, she was able to focus on herself a little bit more.  I’d say around 2007 was when she started getting things back together to focus on her health.  She walked around town or went to the gym to use the treadmill/track almost daily.  She watched what she ate (I would say she was too restrictive!) and made sure TeenSwimSis ate well and exercised too. 

Then, on Halloween morning 2010, I was sleeping on a friend’s couch after a night of heavy drinking when I got a phone call.  My mom had had a stroke – which turned out to be a brain aneurysm.  She was rushed to the hospital, but they decided they would fly her to the big city.  I knew I couldn’t drive the 5 hour difference, so I flew.  Being surrounded by strangers (and not having to actually be the one focusing on getting there) was much better than driving alone.  I got to the hospital 12 or so hours later.  For the next day I held her hand and told everything I had wanted to tell her.  I told her that I weighed 253 – down from 290!  I had lost that much and I was going to lose much more.  I told her how great she was and all of the places we would go and all the adventures we would have, if she would just get better.  But it was not meant to be.  After a day, brain scans showed little and then no brain activity.

This shining light in my life went out on 11/01/10, but it still lives through her organs and tissues that were donated.  The last 2 years have been a struggle for all of us.  I put back on most of the weight I had lost – I was back up to 280 earlier this year.  My sisters have gained weight as well.  But SwimSis and I are doing something about it!  We joined the Y and are attempting to eat healthier.  I even signed us up for a 5K next month!  My mom would definitely be proud – and if she were still with us, she would be run/walking it right by our sides. (The day before she passed, she had gotten to a smaller size – purchased several pairs of size 4 pants/capris!).

Like my mom, I try not to let my emotions get in the way of what I have to do in life, which is a fault.  Even though we weren’t super close, I know she pegged me as the independent one.  The one who she could count on to be brainy, responsible, and to get things done while she was looking after my troublemaker siblings and the baby.  While most parents told their children they could come home if they needed to after college, my mom told me that wasn’t an option.  And I’m grateful for it.  I moved to a new city 5 hours away, made mistakes, made friends, missed my family and grew closer to them all at once.  I’m not on this journey to get healthy just for me, it’s for her and the person she wanted/wants me to be. 

“And I love you more than anything in the world.  Love, your baby girl.” - Sugarland

I hope everyone had a great mother's day yesterday.  Keep loving on your mama while you can.  Don't ever take her for granted!

Road Trip!

At SwimTot's baptism

Back when TeenSwimSis was a little younger

The 'Rents

Me and My Mommy - 2007

 And just because she would be mad that I put these pics of her up here, here is an embarrassing one of me!

Oh yes.  Me at 13.  Acne, wild eyebrows, no ounce of femininity!  haha That would be an ALMOST 3 month old TeenSwimSis.  TeenSwimSis is 13 now.  That girl doesn't know how good she has it in the looks dept!  I nailed the whole awkward teenager thing!

Man, this workout was tiring!

*Possible TMI Warning!*

Last night, I wanted to do both the strength training circuit and swim.  But in which order?  If I swam first, I would not want to put a bra on aftewards (and I did not pack one anyway as I brought a sweatshirt to wear home and straight to bed!).  If I did strength training first, I might be tired during the swim.  So I just went ahead and did strength training.  I did not have to wait for any machine!  The gym was quite empty, as oppposed to the same time on Monday when every treadmill was being used!  I have not felt tired after my circuit, so I decided to amp things up a bit.  And wouldn't you know it, after 6480 pounds lifted, I was tired.  My legs, oh my legs!  At that point, I knew this swim wasn't going to feel the best, but I went ahead and did it anyway.  Here is what I did:

Warm up: 300 drill (I did 150 swim/150 drill)

Freestyle:

4x50 on :55 sec

4x50 on :65 sec

4x50 on :75 sec

(Don't let the 50s fool you!  They nearly killed me!  I was making them on 50-53ish.  Not much of a break at the beginning!)

Kick:

200 kick, choice

4 x 25 w/:15 sec rest

IMs:

25 Butterfly + 75 Backstroke

25 Butterfly + 75 Breastroke

25 Butterfly + 75 Freestyle

100 IM

Pull:

4 x 50 your least fave stroke (breastroke)

4 x 50 your fave stroke (backstroke)

2 x 50 timed (which I turned into a cool down)

Apparently that is 2100 yards, not 2200.  Well, could have been 2150, I lost count on the last pull of the 50s.

Today has been a crap shoot in terms of food.  I had a coupon for BOGO breakfast sandwiches at McDs (why do I do this to myself???) and in addition to those I got a fruit and yogurt parfait. 

So work was going well and I ate one sandwich.  And in the back of my mind, I knew that other one was in the fridge.  What was that?  Is my stomach saying I'm hungry???  Well hop on over the the fridge!  Down sandwich #2.   Merely 30 seconds later (It could have been like 5 mins, idk.  But it was a short amount of time)  a co-worker stopped in and said there had been a meeting this morning that was catered and there was leftover fruit and bagels.  Really?  What kind of a person would I be if I skipped free fruit?  And bagels sounded nasty anyway.  Well, I mean, as long as they don't have "garden" or "veggie" cream cheese (FAVORITE!).  I mosey on over there and behold -- other pastries besides bagels.  Ignore it Em!  Oh, what's in this little bowl?  Single servings of garden cream cheese?  MUST HAVE.  I got garden cream cheese, fresh pineapple (swoon!), a bunch of grapes, and -- almost a bagel.  I saw half a croissant.  It had the possibility of having chocolate in it.  I got that instead.  No chocolate, messy croissant.  duh I ate all of it and no it wasn't good. 

And now it's like 1:30pm.  Pineapple and some grapes are left, I have salmon and zucchini&squash in the fridge along with a mango.  When will I be hungry for those?  When will I eat the good stuff? Hmph.  Hopefully for dinner or a late lunch.  SwimSis asked if I wanted to go to the local minor league baseball game.  I don't.  There are several reasons which I will list for anyone who reads this:  1) They are going to eat out. 2) I'll have to find something to wear.  3) Most of my clothes are dirty.  4) I am tired.  5) I don't want to spend the money.  6) I've gone to 2 games before and had amazing seats.  How can I top that? 7) I am obviously whiny. 

I'm hoping to find and charge my rechargable batteries.  I feel bad I have them (although they are MIA) and I have been using regular batteries which are expensive!  Hopefully I will have some pictures soon!

Bridal Shower + Black Bean Story

This past weekend I went home for the bridal shower of a childhood friend.  First thought: Argh! (yes, like a pirate :)) The food -- Don't fall into the food trap!  Well, I usually tell that voice that I it needs to shut it, but I tried to be smart this time.  TRIED.

I woke up early for a Saturday and hit the gym for some treadmill time and circuit/strength training. I walked 29 mins with a 2 min cool down. I wanted to walk a shorter time, but touch screen wouldn't listen to me, so I just made it to 29.  I lifted 5,980 pounds through 12 reps each at 8 machines.  I made it home just in time to take a shower and throw some things in a bag!  We stopped at McDonalds on the way to my hometown.  I got a grilled chicken club sandwich, minus tomato, add red onion.  Honestly, the bacon was calling my name!  I should have said no mayo and no cheese.  They always put a horrific amount of mayo on their sandwiches and I don't really care for cheese most of the time.  I brought along some of my 1/2 of potato salad too.  At this point, an hour after my workout, I had nothing to drink.  Sometimes I wonder if my mistakes are rookie mistakes or idiot mistakes.  The jury's still out on this one!  When we got to the bridal shower 2.25 hours later, we played some games, celebrated the bride, and then it was on for some food.  I hung out with SwimTot while most of the ladies got their food.

I entered their kitchen last and found chicken salad croissants and veggie pizza with cream cheese.  Not thinking, I grabbed one of each.  Plus two chocolate covered strawberries, a few crackers, and a tiny bit of an AMAZING cheese ball (some white cheese with basil and bacon).  And of course there was bridal/baby shower punch.  You know, the punch where you mix sherbert and sprite.  Always a crowd pleaser.

They also had cupcakes with the wedding colors - White and blue.  Like a very blue blue.  The brightness of the icing stains you tongue and possibly teeth!  So I stayed away from those.  However, I HAD to have my very favorite pastel mint candies.  My biggest love of sweets is something chocolate/sweet/minty with a crunch.  These babies were right next to the assorted nuts, so I got some of each--and seconds of nuts and pastel mints.  Want me to come to your party?  Serve pastel mints!  

 

I loaded up my plate and quickly noticed that there was a problem with me eating all this (mostly) wonderful food -- I was full!  What?  Who is this Em and what have you done to the real one who can down as much food - and more - than humanly possible?  I happily ditched most of the food asap, ate a few more pastel mints, and sucked down about 4 bridal shower punches because I had not had anything to drink all day!  Yeah, not smart, but they did not have bottled water and I know they have well water -- I have turned into a city girl for sure!

 

Overall, I wasn't perfect, but better than I would have been in the past.  That's what I'm aiming for!  Continual improvement and a heightened  awareness of body and mind concerning food.

Black Bean Story:

I have not been a big fan of beans my whole life.  (except the green variety hehe)  When my parents made chili or ham and beans (gag me!) I would eat something else or pick out the beans, which didn't leave me left.  When I was in college, I would go to the fast food-ish part of the dining hall to grab something when I was short on time.  I often got chicken quesadillas.  Just chicken, cheese, and a tortilla.  Well, sometimes things get mixed together when they are in close proximity (think a subway assembly line set up) I got a black bean or two in my quesadilla. Wow, not bad, I thought.  The next time I was in a hurry, I got black beans on my quesadilla.  I grabbed my food and headed over to a bible study that I was leading.  I ate my food as we chatted about God and life.  Then -- Uh Oh!  A terrible rumbling noise from my innards!  Pain, pain, pain!  Ok Em, I thought, you can make it through, only X amount of minutes!  There was no real escaping to the bathroom -- the dorm only had suites with shared bathrooms.  After the bible study was over, the girls wanted to talk, but I abruptly cut them off and told them I had to leave!  I high tailed it down to the lobby and rushed into the single person bathroom.  RELIEF.  And a continued hatred for black beans!  I still feel bad about blowing the girls in the bible study off, but really there was nothing I could do!  

Eventually, I have added black beans into my diet, incorporated into Mexican fare.  Yesterday I ate some black beans, chicken and cheese as a snack and almost had the same experience as above!  Should have taken beano -- haha!

Victories:

 

I have lost 2 pounds!  I'm at 273.  I'm REALLY happy with this.  I'm not expecting the weight to fall off in a certain amount of time.  Right now, I am TRULY happy with focusing on my fitness and seeing my weight drop is such a bonus!

 

My endurance is building.  Don't get me wrong, I am not able to run a mile without stopping, but I am improving!  I swam 2200 yards tonight and I hated it because it was hard, but loved it because it was challenging!

 

And I am stepping out of my comfort zone!  If I cannot have a lane to myself, I try to get a lane with someone who swims at a similar speed.  I got in a lane with a girl who is a few years younger than me (and several sizes smaller! lol)  She had started her workout before me and ended before me as well.  She was swimming off of an endurance training chart.  Normally, I would be very introverted and just keep swimming and ignore her (aka this is why I have a hard time making new friends!).  I asked her what she was training for (an open water swim) and we chatted for a few mins.  Proud of myself and I hope to swim with her again!

Now I'm off to do a face plant into my pillow!  Strength training circuit + 2200 yards of swimming in an hour = wiped out!