I have always heard it said that marijuana was a “gateway drug” that could lead to more hardcore drugs. I don’t really know anything about marijuana or other drugs – this girl has never even smoked a cig. But the concept of one thing leading up to much bigger problems, I can relate to that.
For me that “drug” is pop (pop, soda, coke, etc). I believe this to be different from a “trigger food” because pop does not make me crave certain foods or make me want to binge on a cornucopia of items. The addition of pop into my diet would quickly add in other foods that I normally don't have and definitely aren't good for you! At New Years, I wanted to give something up as my New Year’s Resolution. Lord knows (and I do too) that swearing off something for a whole freaking year would NOT work. I decided to give up pop for a month. On New Year’s Eve, I’m pretty sure I drank 3 Coca-Colas in the last hour of the year! I made it through that month and had my first pop of the year on or about February 4th. It didn’t taste good at all. I tried it a few more times in the days following as I went to Indianapolis to work at the Super Bowl (but not AT the game). The day of the Super Bowl I worked 18 hours (that’s a story for another day!) and made sure to get a pop the next morning. Gross again, I decided it just wasn’t worth it and went back to water. Since then, I’ve found myself having 1-2 pops a month, mostly for caffeine.
Before this year, loooved fast food. Even when I lost 35lbs before my mom died, I still had fast food at least twice a week (my job as a nanny was super active). When I cut out the pop earlier this year and wanted fast food I would think “Well, what would I drink if I didn’t get pop?”. Lemonade or juice? Nah. Pay for a bottled water? I am not that crazy! Well, is it even worth going?”. Cutting pop out of the mix cut back my trips to fast food joints. There was a point in time where I would go to the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut drive through and get a individual pizza, breadsticks (w/marinara and cheese sauce), a large pop AND a crunchwrap supreme and just be a little over “comfortably full”. Wow, that is sad to type out. Plus that’s like $8-$10!
Last month, on the day we moved, we moved until very late at night and then I had to double check a grant application for work that was due the next day. I grabbed a pop at a fast food place (but no fast food, yay!). It was okay and it did the trick! About 2 weeks later, I got a couple of value menu breakfast sandwiches at McDs…and a pop. And it was a delicious pop. Oh. No. That weekend I made a delicious broccoli soup and had a nice big bowl for lunch. Apparently that wasn’t very hearty because I found myself a couple hours later doing errands, very thirsty, and pretty sure I was starving. I knew where a Burger King was and I pulled right in and got a value meal. I went home, finished it off, and wasn’t even “full”. Thankfully, I know trouble when I see it. I spent the next 2 weeks avoiding fast food because there are a gazillion fast food joints on my way home and a pang of hunger combined with an air of greasy food might have a bad result! I bargained and spent more at the grocery than I normally do to make homemade pizza or have turkey burgers. I’m pretty sure it paid off because I saw another 2 lb loss this past week. Which makes me 254.8 and officially lowest since I’ve been recording my weight (2009-present).
I feel like it is a thin line not to be crossed. It all starts with one pop that tastes amazing and it snowballs into 2 meals worth of fast food and wondering where my next greasy meal will be coming from.
On Sunday, while doing childcare at church, a boy asked me “Can you run?”. So innocent. I said yes and then we proceeded to have a conversation about how “big people” (his wording) can run, just have to work harder at it. This whole conversation happened while we were “singing and dancing” to a worship song video. This has evolved into about ½ the kids and the 2 or 3 adults in the room going in an oval around the chairs while singing and clapping. Kind of like a congo line, but not holding on to each other. Just circles. Or ovals. Over and over, round and round. This little boy was sitting in a chair and I was going around. Kind of awkward. J PS 19 kids (4-5 year olds room) for the first service, yikes!