My Gateway "Drug"

I have always heard it said that marijuana was a “gateway drug” that could lead to more hardcore drugs.  I don’t really know anything about marijuana or other drugs – this girl has never even smoked a cig.  But the concept of one thing leading up to much bigger problems, I can relate to that.

For me that “drug” is pop (pop, soda, coke, etc).  I believe this to be different from a “trigger food” because pop does not make me crave certain foods or make me want to binge on a cornucopia of items.  The addition of pop into my diet would quickly add in other foods that I normally don't have and definitely aren't good for you!  At New Years, I wanted to give something up as my New Year’s Resolution.  Lord knows (and I do too) that swearing off something for a whole freaking year would NOT work.  I decided to give up pop for a month.  On New Year’s Eve, I’m pretty sure I drank 3 Coca-Colas in the last hour of the year!  I made it through that month and had my first pop of the year on or about February 4^th.  It didn’t taste good at all.  I tried it a few more times in the days following as I went to Indianapolis to work at the Super Bowl (but not AT the game).  The day of the Super Bowl I worked 18 hours (that’s a story for another day!) and made sure to get a pop the next morning.  Gross again, I decided it just wasn’t worth it and went back to water.  Since then, I’ve found myself having 1-2 pops a month, mostly for caffeine. 

Before this year, loooved fast food.  Even when I lost 35lbs before my mom died, I still had fast food at least twice a week (my job as a nanny was super active).  When I cut out the pop earlier this year and wanted fast food I would think “Well, what would I drink if I didn’t get pop?”.  Lemonade or juice?  Nah.  Pay for a bottled water?  I am not that crazy! Well, is it even worth going?”.  Cutting pop out of the mix cut back my trips to fast food joints.  There was a point in time where I would go to the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut drive through and get a individual pizza, breadsticks (w/marinara and cheese sauce), a large pop AND a crunchwrap supreme and just be a little over “comfortably full”.  Wow, that is sad to type out.  Plus that’s like $8-$10!

  Last month, on the day we moved, we moved until very late at night and then I had to double check a grant application for work that was due the next day.  I grabbed a pop at a fast food place (but no fast food, yay!).  It was okay and it did the trick!  About 2 weeks later, I got a couple of value menu breakfast sandwiches at McDs…and a pop.  And it was a delicious pop.  Oh. No.  That weekend I made a delicious broccoli soup and had a nice big bowl for lunch.  Apparently that wasn’t very hearty because I found myself a couple hours later doing errands, very thirsty, and pretty sure I was starving.  I knew where a Burger King was and I pulled right in and got a value meal.  I went home, finished it off, and wasn’t even “full”.  Thankfully, I know trouble when I see it.  I spent the next 2 weeks avoiding fast food because there are a gazillion fast food joints on my way home and a pang of hunger combined with an air of greasy food might have a bad result!  I bargained and spent more at the grocery than I normally do to make homemade pizza or have turkey burgers.  I’m pretty sure it paid off because I saw another 2 lb loss this past week.  Which makes me 254.8 and officially lowest since I’ve been recording my weight (2009-present).

I feel like it is a thin line not to be crossed.  It all starts with one pop that tastes amazing and it snowballs into 2 meals worth of fast food and wondering where my next greasy meal will be coming from.

On Sunday, while doing childcare at church, a boy asked me “Can you run?”.  So innocent.  I said yes and then we proceeded to have a conversation about how “big people” (his wording) can run, just have to work harder at it.  This whole conversation happened while we were “singing and dancing” to a worship song video.  This has evolved into about ½ the kids and the 2 or 3 adults in the room going in an oval around the chairs while singing and clapping.  Kind of like a congo line, but not holding on to each other.  Just circles.  Or ovals.  Over and over, round and round.  This little boy was sitting in a chair and I was going around.  Kind of awkward. J  PS 19 kids (4-5 year olds room) for the first service, yikes!