Monday, April 9, 2012

Easter + A Confession

I remember Easter as a kid.  It was always so exciting!  Coloring eggs that the Easter Bunny would then hide around our house for us to find was always messy, but great.  When I was 8, I woke up in the middle of the night (I had some streaks of insomnia as a kid!) and I SWORE I heard the Easter Bunny come in and out through our front door.  Looking back, that kind of scares me.  Did I make that up???

Easter was great because Jesus had risen from the grave.  And we got candy.  CANDY, people!  I would chow down on every candy in the basket, except for the putrid black jelly beans.  I remember having a fondness for sugar coated and sugar filled "eggs".  Pure sugar with food coloring.  Then when I was in high school, I remember feeling bad about eating so much candy.  But I thought "hey, if you eat this all at once, you will gain all of the weight at once and then  you can lose it easily".  Riiiight.

That happens to be one of the rare instances that I remember thinking about losing weight when I was younger.  And of course it had to be about candy.

This year, as I mentioned, I gave up chocolate for Lent.  Chocolate is one of my favorite things of all time!   Chocolate vs fruity candy?  Almost always chocolate!  And I can't ever just eat a small amount (and why would I just keep a small amount around?).  I daydreamed about chocolate all 40 days.  I abstained from birthday cake, mint chocolate chip milkshakes, and those little chocolate covered granola squares that nature valley makes (that were free!).


Okay, I didn't make it 40 days.  It was about 39.75.  I made no bake cookies for Easter dinner, as they were a specialty of my great-grandma's.  I made them the day before and had a taste to ensure that the oatmeal of not overcooked.  I did not occur to me that I had eaten chocolate until a while later.  Eff!  But that is okay.  On Easter I had a couple Reese's eggs.  And then...a stomach ache AND a headache.  For real?


Oh body.  Thanks for reminding me that I don't need and am not used to milk chocolate terribleness!

This morning I did not have any breakfast, so I grabbed my last portable oatmeal from October.  It has chocolate, peanut butter, and coconut in it (a cookie in a cup, said my co-worker).  In the end, I ate a few bites.  It was gross and tasted like the cardboardish container it came in.  Instead, I drank more coffee!  And then I had a good lunch planned (albacore tuna, yum!).  But my boss had me to get her lunch at McDs, so she let me buy McDs on her card.  Ewww....felt gross.


Felt gross all day until I had my snack of fresh pineapple and mango.  It was so refreshing.  It just made me feet great body, mind and spirit!  I skipped the Y because I am still feeling gross and blah and that time of the month-ish, and a slight tummy ache due to me getting the crap scared out of me because my brakes suck and the traffic was terrible on the interstate!


And here's one thing that hasn't helped my night:

 

Found It Here


Yep.  I over indulge in food in my bed.  (That's not my bed.  Taking a picture of my bed would require me to clean!)  It might sound weird, but it is where I am comfortable and distracted (by being on Facebook, blogs, or Netflix).  It is the same concept as over indulging in a movie theater where you are just putting hand to mouth in that bucket of popcorn because the movie has your attention.  This happened innocently enough.  I had either no dining room table or no entertainment in a common area.  I can just as easily snuggle up with Bones (the TV show) and eat my meal.  However, it warped into times where I would buy candy from the store.  I like weird combinations.  One particular year, it happened to be PB M&Ms and Jr. Mints (3:2 ratio).  I was hooked on a new author (Roddy Doyle) and would eat this candy combination while reading his books.  Well 2 years later and 30 pounds off and almost all on again, I began reading another one of his books.  What did I get a craving for?  That crazy candy concoction!  So weird how the brain is wired.


It is very easy for me to sit here with this little bit of Easter candy that I got (and while I'm being honest, Valentine's chocolate that sat on my nightstand all throughout Lent) and go to town on it without realizing what I put into my body.  I hate checking out like that.  I want to be conscious of what goes into my body.  If I'm not paying attention to what I am eating, how can I enjoy it?  I'm not, is the simple truth.


Tomorrow is a new chance at the right things.  I am going to pack my gym bag tonight so that I will be able to go straight to the Y.  I have my food left over from today.  One bad day does not have to derail me from my goal!



And now to go look for my debit card.  I fear I have lost it again! Tomorrow I will post about my extended family.  And our unique dysfunction that every family has. 


Last, but not least.  I ran into one blog that never fails to cheer me up.  (Not for children's/virgin's ears!)  This particular quote from Sleep Talkin' Man almost, literally, made me have an accident.  27 years old and peeing her pants.  That would have been a shame.  But worth it! HERE it is.

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