Thursday, April 26, 2012

Where I Am Right Now

Technically, I am on the 8th floor of an office building.  But that's not the point...Time to check in.
Things might be going better if:
-I hadn't lost my debit card, causing my Y membership to cancel
-I haven't been able to get to the Y when the membership desk is open because I have been looking for cars.
-I would tell all these excuses to "shove off".
Yeah, it happened.  Wasn't the first time, probably won't be the last. I waved a white flag to my excuses and surrendered. 
But, things are looking back on track as my dad has successfully fixed my brakes.  He said the parts cost him $150 and it was between 4 trips to the auto parts store.  Luckily, he works for said auto parts store a couple hours away and was able to get the parts at a discount.
My lack of motivation astounds me sometimes!  I have rewards set up for myself, however, I don't know how motivating they are!
Right now, I'm focusing more on healthy and exercise than I am on weight.  My bigger rewards are for health, smaller rewards for weight.
For 20 workouts, my reward is a bento box.  Several people I know use bento boxes for lunches and after Starbuck's protein plate, which is bento-esque, I figured I could do it on my own.  I like variety and if I can have several small servings of things, that would keep me happy and I might be able to indulge and not want to kick myself in the butt later.  I have been at 18 workouts for the past two weeks!  Ugh! 
Seriously Em, you can't walk a mile around the apt complex and get in another workout?  Oy vey!  The other day I told myself I was going to go home and immediately get in a walk.  Well, it was stormy looking off in the distance.  I looked up the radar and it said rain was imminent!  Oh darn, walk would have to hold off.  Well, it didn't rain in the next 20 minutes.  I don't think it ended up raining at all.  And really, I'm not the wicked witch of the west -- I won't melt!
My weight reward is undergarments.  Yeah.  Whenever I place an order for clothes online, they always show me discount undies and bras.  Duh, I will totally pay $1.50 for a couple of pairs of underwear that are floral or have bunnies on them (true story!).  Well, in the midst of said craziness of the past two weeks, I COMPLETELY ran out of underwear.  Yeah, even the time of the month ones and the ones that are too big because I bought them at my highest weight.  I had worn ALL of them!  So, I have probably 5 or 6 pairs in a bag in my closet.  I wanted them to be for little things like marking 5 lbs lost.  Well, I had to grab a pair and well, why not run to the scale too.  I hadn't weighed myself for about 10 days.  I jumped on and guess what...5 lbs lost since I started!  Not only did I need them, I earned them too!
I was worried about a gain after almost 2 weeks of no activity and some worse (but not all together terrible) eating habits.  Thankfully, I was still at 275!
Physically, I know I'm not as strong as I was.  I know that the "try-athalon" that SwimSis and myself are planning on may or may not happen.  Or we may push it back a month or so.  I know we ARE going to the Y tonight. 
Mentally, I'm ready to do it.  I'm tired that the excuses got the best of me.  Basically, I'm not accomplishing much in my personal/professional life, might as well focus on something else worthwhile.
I am leaving my temp job tomorrow.  Well, I will come in for a few hrs on Monday to finish things up.  I'm sad that my money flow will stop and a little scared that I don't have anything lined up, but I'm excited about a few other things. 

-I have taken exactly 3.25 hrs off since the beginning of the year. 
-Midday work out classes at the Y!
-The open swim at the local high school is 10a-1p a couple days during the week!  I always feel rushed trying to get in the appropriate number of yards in a 1 hr period. 
The plus side is that the high school pool is cooler and therefore better for me to work out in, it has 10 lanes and I'm guessing that they are empty-ish during the day.  However, they don't have equipment (kick boards, pull buoys, etc) like the Y does.  And God knows that I cannot lift myself out of that pool.  I have to scoot across a bunch of lanes till I can get to the stairs.  Getting out on the ends is impossible.  Getting out of the sides is more plausible, but there is a lane line between me and the wall.  (this has obviously happened to me before!)  The lane line can come away from the wall for a small distance.  I spent 10 minutes looking at it, thinking.  Could my body fit through that small distance?  If not, I'll have to go over.  Well, if I go over the lane line, I run the risk of it breaking.  That would be freaking embarrassing PLUS a mess with all the little pieces floating all over the pool.  I decided to go to the middle of the lane where there could be the most room to squeeze myself between the wall and the lane line.  I went under the water and ooh the space was smaller than I anticipated, but I did not give up!  It was awkward.  SUPER awkward.  I pulled myself up.  barely.  My arms were shaking so bad and really almost collapsed back down.  I did not look around to see if anyone else was looking (there were probably 10 swimmers/parents/spectators in the pool area at the time).  I just walked quickly over to my things and headed straight to the locker room, head down.
Just a glimpse into this life that I make super awkward everyday!  On a good note, one of my fave pairs of pants are loose!  I'm sure I have a tape measure somewhere, I would like to see my progress from a set of numbers different from the scale or the number of workouts I do!

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